I think I forgot how to use this thing.
I had to get away from any and everything TTC related. Forums, blogs, websites, my lovely friends...if I didn't and I hope ya'll can understand, I would have gone INSANE. I needed the physical and mental break of it all. I needed to not speak of it and forget that it ever existed. I NEEDED THIS!
Now, we're back in the saddle. I gave 12 tubes of blood for 20 RPL and other tests last Thursday. As of yesterday, my results are still pending. I applied and was approved for the C.ompasionate C.are program from F.ertility L.ifelines (check it out). I will get 1800IU of G.onal-F for free. I took 10 days of provera b/c my cycles have wonked out on me since I gained 20lbs since the last m/c. Now, it's a waiting game...waiting for AF to show so I can make that call for CD3 scan and b/w.
I am scared, nervous, anxious, panicking, and fell as though it's all moving so fast.
I still can't bring myself to post back on the forum I loved so much, or speak to many of my TTC friends w/ or w/o children. I feel like I have to put my swimmies on and take it slow over in the kiddie pool.