Monday, May 4, 2009

20dpiui aka 4w6d

So today is a very nerve wracking day. Not only do I have the doubling BETA thing hanging over my head, but I also started to spot at 4w6d a year ago when I got my very first BFP. Now, when I got a BFP in October, I made it past 4w6d to spot at 5w0d and again 5w5d until Dec 31st. So I have many a milestone to pass in my eyes. Today, hopefully I will pass two -- doubling Beta and a spotfree 4w6d. Thursday, hopefully I will pass the one where I never get to see anything on an u/s, even if it's the bubble...please let me see the bubble.

I am scared sh*tless. Everytime I go to the bathroom I am so afraid to look at the TP. I've been a little crampy today, but my boobs are still hurting like crazy(I've yet to stop poking at them), still getting lightheaded/dizzy, still very tired and yawning ALL day, warm to the touch, but always cold (that's never me), basically everything that was here a week ago, is here today some maybe a little stronger. Did I mention the peeing. I can not stop peeing. What it is, the size of a rice if that, so why am I peeing so dang much. I can't even temp anymore b/c I don't get enough hours sleep in a row due to waking a bazillion times to pee in the middle of the night.

So, sit with me while I await THE phone call. Anyone have a Reese's Cup?

4 comments:

Michele said...

I hope you pass milestone after milestone. The fear is normal and I still look at the TP for fear of bleeding, even though I havent had any spotting this pregnancy (I'm 9w2d). I think that, for those of us who have lost babies, this is our constant fear. I check myself so often that my husband yells at me!

Mrs. Barrenness said...

Hoping and praying for good news from your phone call. - And I would love to share anything chocolate. :)

sabrina said...

Hey Lina, hang in there. I will keep on praying for you.

Megan's Infertility said...

Hang in there girly. I know it's hard not to stress but try to stay positive.

I'm praying that everything goes well and you have a VERY sticky bean!