7w0d

I called for yesterday's BETA...4097. Not at all where it should be...should have been way past 10,000 even if the doubling happened every 3 days. I've already prepared myself for bad news on Friday. I called the gonal-f people and have an application on it's way for a free month of meds (let me know if you want the info) for when this is all over and done with. I try so much to be happy for the other ladies in my EDD thread, but w/ each great u/s news or each twins announcement I get more depressed, more woe is me, I feel more like a failure.

3 m/c in 12 mos WTF!!!!

What am I going to do today? I am going to go home, have me a smoke and get it on with my husband while eating an uncooked ham and cheese sandwich w/ sushi on the side. Oh don't forget the rum and coke followed by an espresso to wash it all down. B/c when I try to do all the good things, shit don't work out. So maybe if i do the opposite of what I am told to do, maybe, I'll end up with a baby.

Enough of my pity party. You should know the drill...if you don't hear from me for a while, it's because I am wallowing in self pity.