Wednesday, July 16, 2008

AHH...yes, it does continue...The NOW

So, last I left off (hey i did tell you it was a long story didn't I), I was getting guts to go back to the doctor...ohhh right...

So, in December 2007, I reactivated my account, went on a treasure hunt for my BBT and ordered some Fertilaid. And got an at home SA kit. I have always kept track of my AF...nothing else...but AF and BDing was always written on my calendar.

So here is what my Fertilaid cycle looked like...

Yea, not much to see, I didn't want to start temping in the middle of my cycle so I was .

But did you see that patch of Creamy CM...OMG I remember that day. I thought to myself...THIS had never happened before and everyone in the 'Cyster' community told me to get to the BDing. And the spotting began. Why O Why...

**I interrupt this post for the following side note: When I started seeing an RE in 2006, DH was adament that he did not need a SA and that I was basically on my own in doing this b/c it would happen when it was meant to happen. At this point I felt helpless and just decided to at least do what I can on my end. After a rough 2007 in the marriage area, DH finally understood the importance of TTCing, AND his role. Needless to say, he is very much involved in it now. **

Ok, that's fine. AF showed's the first month. Now I can temp and see what's going on. I am still waiting for my OB/GYN appointment at the end of the month so I can get my RX for Clomid and Met. So in the mean time....I tried a Soy cycle... but, I didn't know you could not take it with certain herbs that were in Fertiliad. Well after much tweaking I got some cross hairs. Yes, I am not only a chart stalker but a chart tweaker!! Oh, and I did get what looked like a postive OPK which also aided in my conclusion that some type of O happened.

As I had hoped for I got my RX from the OB/GYN so it could hold me over until my March appointment w/ the RE.

So I took my measley 50mgs during a clomid cycle knowing that it really wasn't going to do a gosh darn thing. Yea, there probably wasn't really an O in there but shoot I told you I was a tweaker.

I then heard about taking soy and clomid (on different days...). During this cycle I got to see the RE for my consult. I was on day 8 of AF bleeding so no u/s for me. I told him about my endlessing before AF spotting and he told me I could be Oing but weakly and the prometrium should help ward off the spotting. Now if it were for the prometrium, I would probably not see such a wonder O on this chart. But (someone at work just interrupted me and I lost my train of thought...) I remember now...3 hours later....since prometrium/progesterone causes your temp to rise, it's possible this O was faux. Oh, and I redid my 2 hour GTT and was going to my BP b/c I was now considered pre-diabetic number was 10 points higher than the normal. And that was while taking 1000mg of Met. the RE tells me to take 100mg of clomid and call for u/s ...I call and find out I will NOT be seeing Dr. EspaƱol...he is only for consults. I now have an appointment at another location. Not convient for me as the other was down the street from where I worked. So DH and I did a test run to this location to make sure we could get there on a Friday afternoon. Ok, not too bad. I went in on CD12 and everyone was wonderful. I was so excited. So I met the doctor and he said I did not have any follies yet and he was going to give me a second course of clomid 200mg from CD 12-16 and I was to go back on CD21 for u/s and bw. So I took em. And I felt O pains starting on the 4th day of the pill. When I went in on CD21 ...HOLY SMOKES!!!! 2 follies 24 and 26mm, one on each side BOTH my ovaries work!!!! OMG I can make eggies holy crap holy crap!! This was so exciting. I was called that afternoon and told my LH was 20.4 I was ready to O. I was scheduled for back to back IUIs on CD22 @ 1pm and 23 @ 10 am. ON CD 22 I got to see my follies had grown to 30 and 31mm. On CD23 u/s after the IUI showed that I no longer had follies. My eggies have been released!!.. Oh and DH had excellent numbers. So the dreaded 2ww began. My boobs started hurting the night of my second IUI. That's how I knew I truly did O. As prometrium/provera both cause my boobs to ache. I knew my natural progesterone rose. So, I ignored all the classic signs and symptoms. Sleepiness, frequent urination...loads of CM, heartburn from chewing pepermint gum. I was ready for this not to work...I tested at 10dpiui and got a BFN. I was devestated, but my 'Cysters' cheered me on and told me that it could have been early. So, I waited. I waited until 14dpiui and I tested on a digital using afternoon urine and.... Now, that's not my picture. My picture is too blurry. But you get my point.

10 years....10 long heart breaking years and I finally get the almighty BFP. I am not worthy!! I am not worthy!!! I could not believe it.

I called the REs and told them of my great news. But also, I have a concern my boobs don't hurt as much and she said not to worry as long as I wasnt spotting bright red and cramping I would be ok.

So went in for my BETA on 16dpiui and it was 39 w/ P4 of 11.9. OK, so maybe I implanted late. I also went on 100mg of prometrium b/c Dr. O didn't think I would need it after the IUIs he said clomid should fix the problems I was having...but being that I was one point under what they were looking for I asked for it anyway. Better to be safe than sorry....right?!?! We did another beta on 19dpiui and it more than doubled to 180 and P4 21!!! YES!!! Then on 20dpiui it started...the spotting...when it didn't go away I went to the ER on 21dpiui and my beta was now...66.85. I am losing my lil goya bean. How could this be? 23dpiui I went to the REs and my beta had only gone down to 59. I stopped taking the prometrium and the spotting stopped. On 26dpiui the cramping contractions...why ...why would my body put me through labor pains when I was losing my baby. That is so CRUEL. 27dpiui the bleeding started. BFP chart.

29DPIUI AKA CD 3 my beta was 0. I was given the OK to start right away b/c all my levels were back to normal. Also being able to start right away aided in my healing...that was just me. I know some need to wait and get over it. But if I stayed idle I would have wallowed in self pity.

Round 2 w/ the RE.

I did 200mgs of Clomid CD 5-9 and on CD 17 I had no follies. So into the office for a talk. We are to try Femara (really bad hot flashes) 5mg for 7 days -- CD 17-23 and come back in a week. Which is CD24 day after my last pill. So I went back a week later and still nothing really...some small follies he said. And agreed it could just be early. Come back in another week. Dr. O also mentioned that it may be time to go on injectibles as I am appearing to be clomid resistant. OMG! My insurance does not cover that. I can not afford hundreds of $$s in meds. I am SOL! Aww the sweet doc had some donated follistim and a pen. He gave me 900iu of Follistim and told me to hold it it is now mine. They are to also check their other office to see if they have more. (Yea I have been going back and forth between 3 different offices for this lovely Dr. O) So CD31 YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 19mm follie on the right side...I was so elated. I can still make eggies I am not broken. Got my called that afternoon that my LH was 16.8. CD 32 I got a +++OPK and CD33 another...I had my IUI @ 7:30 am and the u/s afterwards showed my egg had relaeased. Doc said if it didn't work we would try clomid for 7 days and femara as a back up w/ some injections thrown in. WOOOOT!!! 2ww AGAIN. Being the POAS addict I am...I tested from 9dpiui until 14dpiui all BFNs. DISAPPOINTMENT. AF :::nasty witch::: showed up exactly on 14dpiui in the afternoon. Well, atleast we know I O'd. Even if I didn't catch that eggie. And I had a feeling I didn' boobs didn't hurt that time like they did the last. Maybe my progesterone didnt rise enough for support implantation. Clomid/Femara Chart.

So that leads me to today.

Round 3 w/ the RE

I called on CD3 to tell them that AF arrived and that I needed my clomid to be called in. And so the nurse called me back and said she will call in 200mg from CD3-9 and to come in on CD14. Well, CD 14 is Friday. I am so nervous. I don't want to take another round of meds. I want a normal cycle. Both my monitored cycles have been very long. Remember I said my AF has not shown later than CD 35...until lately...I mean great I am Oing ...but we have to find a way to get me to O earlier...and this time...I am going to BEG for the prometrium after O.

So...I obsess over all the pings and twinges I feel in my abodomen. I hope it's my ovaries working overtime.

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